MULTITUDES
18 - The Summer After High School Graduation
Before college began, I was offered an acting apprenticeship at a summer theatre in Fort Peck, Montana. Living there for 2-3 months, surrounded by nature, essentially being out in the middle of nowhere, was utterly beautiful and freeing. I was also in the best shape of my life, thanks to breaking my ankle during Senior year. Yup. I broke my ankle while I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. I was with EM at her godmother’s house while she was babysitting. It was a rainy day, but we were still going to go out for a walk. I was carrying the youngest, the 3 year-old, and I was wearing Navy Blue checkered Vans slip-ons. I walked into the garage, inching my way gradually down the tiny slope at the entrance and I suddenly…slipped. Instinctively, I clutched tightly to the 3 year-old, whom I did not want to drop and landed flat on my back. The child was fine, but I, clearly, was not. Midway into the air I heard a crack, like the snapping of a tree branch. In a state of shock, I lifted my right leg, and gazed at my right foot dangling from my ankle. I wished it was just a severely sprained ankle, so, of course, I put pressure and weight on it, getting up, hobbling around, saying, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”
When I got home, I told my mom exactly that. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just a really bad sprained ankle.” My mother was not going to tolerate my lies and immediately drove me to the ER. Needless to say, the X-rays determined my prognosis. The doctor asked if I wanted the good news or the bad news first. I said the good. The doctor said, “the good news is, it will heal. The bad news is, it’s broken.” Still in disbelief my mind drifted to the fact that I was in the early-stages of rehearsals for Chicago the musical, as Velma Kelly. The doctor told me I was going to need surgery, would be in a cast, with a wheel chair, crutches and then a boot. I was NOT going to let this ruin my Senior Year High School Musical Lead moment. “The show must go on” I quietly murmured to myself, not out loud, but inside my head. So, the choreographer and the director literally worked me wearing a black boot and having 1 crutch into the show. I, Velma, Kelly, bore a bedazzled black book and 1 lowly wooden crutch adorned with red satin padding. As for the grand finale, the duet? Ohhh, I did it and I did it on 1 foot! I have the DVD to prove it.
Alright, now back to Sumer Stock Theatre in Montana. Fort Peck Theatre was producing several shows that season, including Cats and West Side Story. Cats was first and I was offered the role of Victoria, the white kitten, who has a quintessential dance solo. I was ready to slip into that slimming white body suit.
The living situation consisted of a house, which served as a home to the entire company and production team just down the dirt road from the theater. I bunked with another actor and, not that’s hugely important but I was 1 of 2 actors of color and no one knew I was queer. Or at least I think they didn’t know. I still was not comfortable sharing that information. I was also the youngest one, but quickly bonded with the others. This truly marked my first time of being and living away from home. It was pure freedom. Some highlights included, frequenting a local bar where they had Jell-O shots in huge syringes they used to administer medicine to horses or cows? Smoking a cigar for the first time (and after that never doing it again), seeing a deer about 5ft away from me early in the morning, grazing peacefully and even, surviving a local wild cat sighting. We cooked meals for each other, made trips to the lake or nearby towns. We were a family for those few months. I think that’s what I always loved about theatre. The way you are forcibly merged with strangers, creating instantaneous connections and sometimes lasting friendships. Collectively we also all pitched in to the other production departments, building and painting scenery and the sets, making costumes, etc.
The next musical, was West Side Story. This time, I was not cast as Anita, but I was cast as Consuela. I got to wear a blonde wig and I was feeling absolutely fabulous darling!
That summer, was unforgettable and great preparation for the next 4 years of my life.
Some self-help app I dowloaded on my phone, once mentioned that sharks need to keep moving in order to survive. But people don’t. Yet even so, people do, to avoid stillness and the act of looking deep, down within themselves, seeing and revealing any ounce of truth. That’s what I kept doing anyways. It’s tricky though, because in life there is frequent momentum and so, yeah, of course, I kept moving, I just kept going, on to the next thing.
After Montana, I moved to Fullerton, still in a relationship with EM. I discreetly maintained contact with her while I was away that summer per our agreement to stay in a relationship. And then, once I got to Fullerton, I still could not bare admitting to these new people, in this new environment, that I was gay, queer and had a girlfriend. Ergo, I entered the college scene on a foundation of dishonesty.